I want to share this simple idea on the most
controversial subject on earth; the keys to a successful marriage. Is there any
thing like that in your dictionary? Most persons now believe that having a
successful marriage is a thing of luck. They believe that there are no clear
cut principles to finding the right person to marry. To a great extent this
sounds like the truth because all the theories that have propounded by most
marriage experts have not help in solving the problems people face in marriages.
To further prove this, if you search for write-ups on the key to a successful
marriage on the google search engine, you will get millions of results and yet
millions are still making mistakes in the choice of who to marry on daily
bases. Millions of divorce letters are being signed everyday.
In
fact, it is now a thing that most people do with pride. Great political and
religious leader who are suppose to prove their leadership competence through
the way they handle issues in their homes are also part of this shameful act. Rev.
Chris Okotie; the general overseer of one of the biggest churches in Nigeria
divorce his beautiful wife for a reason he was not bold enough to share with
the media, the president of France; Nicholas Sarckozy divorced his former super
model wife; Cecilia Attias and gladly asked the most beautiful women in France
to parade themselves for him to choose a wife out of them, to mention but few, movie and music
stars in the world are involved in at least two cases of divorce in their life
time as if they were blind when they were making the decision to marry the
person and the ordinary people are fast becoming part of this shameful act.
Looking at the things happening in marriages today with all the principles and
guidelines that have been made available to help people make the right choice
in relationships, by millions of marriage expert around the world, do we say
the problem is with the principles or the people?
For
me, I think the problem is with the people and not the principle. If you have
been following my write-ups on this site you would’ have read some article I titled before you say i do-preparing for marriages, keys to finding your rightful partners, Dating all these will enhance your choice into relationship, it
further proved that the problem is with the people and not the principles.
Finding the right person in marriage is not a question of how many persons you
have dated or how much you know about human psychology. Experience is not
enough to help you find the right person to marry. So even if you the oldest
person on the planet that is not enough to make know what is right about
relationship. Most persons have tried using these factors to approach
relationships and still failed.
The
question we are now faced with is does it mean that we should just go into
marriage and expect anything from the person we are getting married to? The
answer to this question is no. you still have a choice, it is possible for you
to be 90% accurate about the person you wish to marry. I know most persons
will frown at my use of statistics here. If I say you can be 90% accurate am
not saying that the person will be perfect in character but that the person
will be perfect for you. For this to be possible, you will have to do what most
people don’t do in order to know if the person you wish to marry is the type
you can spend the rest of your life with. Before you decide to marry a person
after you have done your home work about the person, you must turn to yourself
to see if those qualities you’ have seen in the person are also in you. This is
where the problem lies. People spend so much time making endless list of the
qualities they want in the one they wish to marry but fail to ask themselves if
they are good enough for such a person. People marry bad people not because
they don’t know what is good for them but because there is something bad about
them which attract them to bad people.
For
the fact that a man knows all the qualities of a wife does no’t mean he has the
qualities of a husband the same applies to the ladies. Don’t forget that when
something good comes in contact with a bad thing, the tendency of it turning
bad will be there. So if you marry a good person when you are not good, with
time the person will begin to learn to be like you which could change the
person from what you use to know. Aside being bad, the selfishness in human
beings makes them to ignore things they are suppose to pay close attention to
during courtship. For example, because a
person is nice to you, you fail to see his or her cruel behavior towards others
and think it will not turn to you later in marriage. It will turn to you
because it’s already there. So after you have done all your research about the
person you wish to marry, before you make the final decision to marry the
person, turn to yourself and look inward to see if you are eligible for what
you are bargaining for and also to see if your attraction towards the person is
based on selfish desires or a natural and selfless love. If do this with all
sincerity, then you would’ve completed the steps to the altar.
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