Before You Say I Do! - Preparing for Marriages

 
THE ESSENCE OF RELATIONSHIP:

Relationship is designed for assistance! (Gen 2:18) assistance in pursuance of vision! If you go into a relationship because you need someone to sponsor your expenses, you are in error – and you should be avoided. 

You don’t need a relationship so you could get new clothes, or to take care of your basic needs – if you do that, you would have gotten a sponsor not a real mate, and you sure would have to compromise your emotions and principles to stay in that relationship.

 If getting an opportunity or platform is your reason for entering into a relationship, you would fail miserably in that relationship.

 Simply think of ways to be self-sufficient and you would be respected and regarded greatly for that – refuse to be a liability – because being a a liability shows you are of an unsound mind, it reveals your inability to think, it means you are a load to be carried. 

Being dependent really has many disadvantages. 

          Although relationship is not about fun alone, it’s about responsibility – but trying to meat your financial needs should not be the foundational reasons of entering into a relationship – if you do this, abuse is inevitable.

Relationship is about adding value (not sex or burden) to your partner’s life. One sure thing that will be detrimental to any relationship is thinking you can change someone or mold them to your own liking.

 Worse yet is trying to change who you are so that they will accept you. Understanding the essence of relationship which is to help each other fulfill his/her purpose is the secret to a successful relationship.

          For any relationship to grow/work learning to open your heart to be love and to love is the first step. There will never be a guarantee that everything will fall into place right away there will be spark at first but the fire will only grow deeper when its rekindle daily. 

     

Sex outside marital boundaries kills one major ingredient for successful marriage. The fire of sex is meant in the fire place of marriage outside there if you try it you all get burnt. 

Your ability to trust die bit after bit when you engage in extramarital relationships. Sex outside marriage doesn’t strengthen love bond really, it only creates additions and destructive appetites. Sex is what waiting for!

 So the criteria for entering into a relationship is first discover your purpose, your purpose has the capacity to employ you for a life time, men of purpose are always tight because they always has something to do, it’s important you marry for your future than for pleasure. Your future is important, so have a purpose for your life before entering into an intimate relationship.

 Learn how to do something to solve problem i.e. use what you have to solve problem.

Secondly, know the definition of love –, love is a matter of choice. So many people don’t know what the definition of love is, there are many unnecessary heartbreak today because they don’t know what love is all about. What is love? When somebody say I love you what does it mean? I love you of agape? Or which type of love? 

When someone say I love you does it mean, I like your difference, or I like your too cute? You can’t love someone you don’t know, you can’t love someone whose assets and liability you cannot define, because eventually love does not just stop at emotion, love is a chain. love is responsibility! love is a trust. Love does not take the dignity and pride of other person, love is patient.

Thirdly, you must know how to customize yourself  to make money, you make money from other people ignorance, you cannot pay for what you already has, if you understand the law of potential difference you will know how to make money. Potential is ability, your ability! 

The difference in our ability is potential so as I give you what you want from me, I take reward from you. You make money out of other people’s ignorance! 

Fourthly, learn to look at the beauty in others: no one is perfect, not even you. In other words no Mr and Miss perfect in this world (earth), except in heaven. Only when you are able to accept someone for who they are will you find happiness. 

If you are not perfect stop looking for someone who is perfect. ‘you don’t love someone because they are perfect, you love them in spit of the fact that they are not.’ -  Jod Picon.

Five: we have what we call, “God approve choice” in relationship. Simply seek for God’s choice for you – someone that can compliment you, someone who has certain things you are lacking working for him or her. Having someone who has a good amount of temper could be good for someone who has no temper at all. Value his or her uniqueness and help sharpen it. 

Six: look for compatibility, the Biro and its cover are two different items but because they are compatible, they can compliment each other. Compliment is the real deal. So don’t go looking for a partner who is just like you or someone you can covert to be exactly like you.

 Compatibility! There is no bone of my bone, flesh of my flesh anywhere! Adam is the only one who could talk of a bone of his bone. If one can talk the other can listen you are compatible.

Seven: one quality/characteristics that must not be missing in choosing a life partner is ‘the fear of God’. If this is missing, everything is missing. Only the fear of God can sustain love, happy family and teach the knowledge of life. 

Go for someone who has great respect and regard for the things of God and ultimately submits to the word of God which is able to change all things including man’s heart. If he/she fear God he/she will love you/submit as God commands. 

Finally, I’ll say there are no experts in relationship. No magic in perfect relationship, no formulas. Be ready to learn from people who are already there and study books and material on marriage and family life. When you read and study material you all know what marriage is all about.

“The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him,  and saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man  to put away his wife for every cause?  And he answered and said unto them,  Have ye not read…” (matt 19:3-4).                                                                                                    So studying is a tool to fulfilling marriage.

Marriage is a journey that you have not travel before you need to connect with people that have pass in the same road to know how to go for it successfully. Jesus said have you not read…He expected them to have read. 
 

If you must succeed in marriage you must prepared for it, the marriage you don’t prepared for will confuse you when you get there. It is your preparation that determine you experience. You don’t prepared in marriage you prepared for marriage!

 There is no other time to prepared for marriage other than when you are in youth/single. The time as a single is a very unique season of your life that God has given you and it is primary for preparation. 

Every successful marriage, every fulfilling marriage is a product of adequate preparation. This is the best time to get ready. You don’t learn how to shut gun in the battle front you learn it before the battle begin otherwise you become a victim. “When preparation meet with opportunity result came to successes”. 

There is no accidental success in marriage, every marriage that is succeeding today is adequately prepared for. 

I’m not an expert but these lesson I learned from carefully studying people who are successful in marriage. I hope it can help you too. 

Did I miss anything? Please do share with me by leaving a comment. I love to hear from you.