The challenges people are facing
today in their marriages has made the whole concept of matrimony uninteresting and
scary to many young adults in most parts of the world. Single ladies have
resorted to having multiple relationships as a way to guarantee their emotional
security, while the religious one have chosen to depend solely on the leading
of God to locate their rightful partners. Even with all these efforts being
adopted, divorce letters are still being signed on daily basis while many have
decided to endure whatever they are facing in marriage as a way to avert any
form of shame or what people will say. It looks like there is no solution to
this, the men are not satisfied with their wives, and the women on the other
hand cannot trust their husbands any more. This has really given me serious
concern as I see the impact of broken homes on our society and the world at
large. Children from such homes face some sort of emotional stress. It pains my
heart when I see the impact of broken homes on people. 8 out 10 married people wake
one day to realize that they are in marriage with the wrong person. The
question then is; who is the wrong person and who is the right one? Nobody sees
him or herself as the wrong person yet this cannot be seen in relationships. Despite
all these, I still believe that it is possible to find the person that’s right
in a relationship. I’m going to share some tips with you and hope you find them
helpful in approaching relationship.
1 Know who you are and tell yourself the
truth, knowing who you are includes knowing your personality trait. The
four common ones are: sanguine, choleric, (extroverts) melancholy and
phlegmatic last two are introverts). I won’t be able to go in detail here but I
will recommend a book by Tim Lahaye titled “Why You Act the Way you do” for
you. Having a knowledge of your
temperament will enable you know your core strengths and weaknesses in other to
know the kind of person that will be able to cope with your kind of person in a
relationship. By knowing your core weaknesses it becomes easy for you to make
necessary modification in order to become a better friend and partner to your
spouse. This will also help you to understand your spouse’s strengths and
weaknesses so that you don’t always have to quarrel or complain over every of
his/her action. When you know about the basic temperaments and their strengths
and weaknesses you will be able to know a person that is refine, because if you
know a person’s core personality trait you won’t notice those natural
weaknesses associated with his or her temperament which means the person must
have taken time to work on him or herself through some positive modification.
Once he/she has a contrasting personality to yours’ then he/she would likely
make a good marriage partner. If you have anything on this topic you would like
me to throw more light on there is a space at the end of this article to add
your comment.
2 Know your partner’s orientation about
marriage: before the relationship gets serious, interview your prospective
spouse to have an understanding of what he/she thinks about marriage, this is
very important because even when a person has a good character, if he/she has
the wrong orientation, you might still get the ugly surprise you are trying to
prevent in the future. You know we all came from different homes, in some
homes, mom is dad’s punching bag and the children might grow up to see nothing
wrong in beating their wives. While in some others, whenever dad and mom have
little misunderstanding mom will move her things to the family house until
daddy goes to beg her to return home. A lady from such a home may see that as
the only way to resolve conflict in the home. There are so many other examples
to site on this issue.
Make sure the person’s orientation about
marriage is the type you can cope with because the way a person will treat you
in marriage depends on his/her mindset about marriage.
3 Know your partner’s
friends: it is important you know the kind of friends you partner keeps and
the degree of their influence over him or her before you let emotions loose in
the relationship. A lair will keep lairs as friends, a man who surrounds
himself with womanizers and drunkards will certainly be type that has affinity
for such habit. A lady that keeps materialistic ladies as friends will
certainly be materialistic in nature. There are no two about this. If you are
not okay with his/her kind of friend I advise you think twice before going
deeper into the relationship.
4 Don’t try to change anybody: don’t ever
make the mistake of thinking that you can change a person from bad to good. As
far as marriage is concern it is not advisable because you can never tell who
has truly changed. And also don’t marry a notorious person with the mind that
he/she will change in the future. Understand that there is a difference between
a person who does not know what he /she is doing and person who does not see
anything wrong in what he/she is doing.
5 Don’t get carried away by office
personality: Always have it in mind
that a banker is trained to be polite, a religious leader will always appear to
be moral even when he is not on the inside. Ensure to separate who a person is
from what he/she wants you to see or think about him/her. A caring doctor at
the hospital bed could actually be a cold and insensitive partner in the home.
So always try to separate office personality from the really character. Don’t
allow your love for a certain career to blind you from a person’s true
character. There are more to talk about on this topic but I do like to stop
here. You can add your comment below
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