5 TIPS FOR AVOIDING A SUMMER FLING

 The author of the wildly popular bestseller Pretty Boys is back with a new book The Hamptons that posed the question, "When is a fling not just a fling?" Answer: When it happens in the Hamptons. The Hamptons is the perfect novel for this summer season--and teaches life lessons for men and women.


 While it may seem pretty simple to understand why women who are lonely and seeking any form of affection from the opposite sex routinely find themselves having non-committed sexual flings, flings themselves are still detrimental to the psyche and although a women may go into a fling agreeing to the terms, they still leave not only emotional scars but can plant seeds of bitterness that

will taint future relationships for years to come. Here are 5 surefire tips to avoiding those dreaded hook-ups all year long.

 1. BELIEVE that you are enough. Even if you're single, divorced, widowed or fit into another category trust that you are precious enough to warrant the best and be treated with respect. It doesn't matter how good looking he or she is, if you don't believe in yourself, and honor your own worth, who will?

 2. THINK and be rational. Life is nothing like the movies so don't be so quick to romanticize everything you see, feel, taste, hear. What do you know about this person you're meeting? Put on your high beams, take the time to process everything that's going on around you--take it slow and don't rush into anything.

 3. LISTEN to your inner voice; it's the voice we mostly ignore and it lands us in a heap of trouble time and time again when we dismiss it. Learn to read between the lines and listen to what he or she is NOT saying as well as what

they are saying. If you hear or see something that sends up a red flag--heed the warning. When all else fails to remind yourself of what your mother would say in a situation like this--she's probably right.

 4. SEPARATE your feelings from having a good time. One has nothing to do with the other. In an instance where you two have just met, do not allow the waves of the ocean, a good meal, a sultry voice or too many glasses of wine sway you into believing the experience is something that it is not. You both had individual lives before you met and will more than likely continue to after it ends.

 5. ACCOUNTABILITY partner. If you don't have one, now is a good time to find someone who will agree in advance not to coddle you or allow you to act emotionally or sexually reckless in public or in private. Never go it alone--be it vacations or a dinner party, always take your accountability partner along with you--they'll come in handy and you won't wake up with morning-after regrets.